Jennifer on April 11th, 2011

Are you a better person today than you were yesterday?

Maybe. I am not sure that I am a better person, but I am most certainly in a better place mentally and physically.

Life is not easy. Simply put it’s a struggle each day, no matter your situation. Some of us have difficulty putting our shoes on in the morning, some of us don’t have enough money to buy food and some of us are just not getting what we expected from life. Life is just one series of expectations meeting perceptions. Or possibly not. And for all the advice we get in life about how to better live that life, I think my best advice came from a lesson learned in a marketing services class in college. Expectations versus perceptions. They are different for each of us. Some people expect to go into a store and be treated well, and yet others go into that same store expecting to be treated poorly. For what ever reason these two people have different expectations of the same situation. One person may have been told what to expect, or maybe what they observed first hand contributed. There are a million circumstances that contributed to this, but in the end, it’s really their internal viewfinder that defines this. They choose to have the view they have. We of course have to account matters of abuse, coersion and force aren’t being used, but that is an entirely different matter. They are making a choice, conscious or otherwise, they are making choice.

I think the life lesson of sour lemons is a perfect example of this. Life isn’t about how ripe the lemons are, but it truly is about what you do with them.
So cliche, so true.

Being able to control those expectations and be realistic about the perceptions afterward is key to getting through the tough spots.
Not to mention enjoying the good spots. But that’s yet another conversation.

Creating the most narrow gap between expectations and perceptions. Everything in moderation, as they say. Being realistic about a middle ground is essential in making it work day in and day out. There are going to be situations when things don’t work out as you had expected. But that’s normal. It happens to us all, and in the end, it’s not what happens around you, but how you contributed to the situation. Or possibly how you didn’t. Expecting the worse in everything isn’t healthy, productive or rewarding. It’s rather draining, an endless cycle and annoying by those around you. Being the ever optimist has it’s down sides as well. It’s a version of setting up failure, disappointment and at times can just be delusional. there is a place, somewhere in the middle between these two views that finds it much easier to have a better alignment to the perceptions you have of the situation after the fact.

Jennifer on September 1st, 2010

Well, It’s official. I am now, once again, a NYC resident.
It’s the first day of a new month, I have my deposit back, and the keys have been returned.
I suppose there is no turning back now!! (Not that I really could fathom that idea. I really don’t want anything else in this world right now, than to be with Jimmy, except possibly to be with less of his stuff.)
It’s been a surprising turmoil of emotion this past month, and I am so relieved to have it over with. Words can not do it justice. No matter the happy emotions and thoughts that come with the new situation, there is always going to be something a little sad about ending chapters of our life. Regardless. Don’t you agree?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I seem to be an expert at ending chapters of my life by now. I did it in 2004, again in 2007 and now in 2010. I’m wondering what 2013 will bring for me. ;) The crazy things a girl can imagine for an open ended question like that. And then there is reality. That life really, really, really can’t be mapped out. Regardless of our dreams, efforts or intentions. I’m a natural fence sitter. I believe, that we do have input into our destiny, and the correct choices are required, but it is completely impossible for us to have control over it. Life isn’t a scientific experiment, there are too many variables.

Love and Peace
Nif

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Jennifer on August 23rd, 2010

I’m not normally one to be a crybaby about things.

I am usually a big fan of Cowgirl up. But….

I made the move from Port Washington to Brooklyn official yesterday. I had great friends and loved ones to help, lots of bagels and a Uhaul truck. I was set. And we were off an running…. in the rain. Beautiful.

Cause what makes moving EVEN better?!?!?!

I  can’t even fathom the details of yesterday that made it so freaking laughable funny miserable, but I’m so very glad it’s over.  (I’ll try to relive later today to post)

I’m all in. I live in Brooklyn, NY.  And I’m still madly in love.

God bless. :)

Love and Peace

Niff

Jennifer on July 31st, 2010

Well, it’s officially the summer of the Mets for me.

It’s not my preference, but lord knows it’s been a good time. Now, I have been a die hard Yankee fan long before I ever came to NYC. I think I remember why, but it’s been so long that it’s been this way I just don’t think about it much any more.

But.

I met this boy. Who’s stolen every ounce of my heart.
And he’s a Mets fan. (hey, no one is perfect, right?)
And bought us season tickets to the Mets.

It’s a good thing that I’m a fan of baseball as much as I am of the Yankees.
It’s the epitome of summer to me.
And tonight, I was certainly reminded of why.

There we were, in Citi Field: the boy, a great friend, and myself.
The weather was amazing. The seats were great. And the game couldn’t have been better.

Thank you god for these moments in life that make it all worth it.

Jennifer on July 30th, 2010

The FDNY-NYPD Baseball game….

What a beautiful night for baseball.

What a beautiful night for friends, rather, loved ones.

This is what summer is for.

What an amazing night it was. I was surrounded by great loved ones, in a great place, in beautiful weather.

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Jennifer on July 30th, 2010

I’ve said this word every day, for I think the last 10 years.

I’m always moving it seems. And if I’m not actually moving, I’m talking about it. And if I’m not talking about it, I’m certainly THINKING about it.
Thinking about what’s next, what’s better, what’s more appropriate….
Moving from my parents house, to the little house, to the apartment, to MY house, back to my parents house, to the ranch, to MY apartment, to the ranch, to Lakeside, to NY, to Long Island, and now to Brooklyn.

I suppose that it’s just the way that life goes. We are always evolving, changing, and alas, moving.

Some people embrace this change, some people are scared of it.
Some people make it happen, some prevent it.

Some just take it for what it is.

And I for one. Get excited about it. It keeps things fresh.

“The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions”
~Ellen Glasgow

I have taken the plunge, and decided that I am going to take the boy up on his offer to move in. I don’t think this will be my last move, but I pray that it’s only one of many of our moves ‘together’.

< 3 & :)

Jennifer on July 22nd, 2010

The Beach Boys and John Stamos
Aster Levy Park, Coney Island NY

What a beautiful night of more summer fun.

This is my fourth summer of NYC fun.
And I think it’s this, that keeps me around just one more day. ;)

What’s better than a night with an amazing boyfriend, great friends (including an obnoxious ex-boyfriend), great music, great weather and John Stamos being a Beach Boy for the night.

We had a great night chillin’ in the park and oohing and awwing over the fiine Mr. Stamos. I actually think it was more fun to ohhh and awww for just the annoy the boys factor than for any other reason, but all in all a great night. I was minus the midget and the blonde, but it was still fun.

How can free live music in the park ever ~not~ be fun?
I just don’t think that is possible.

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Jennifer on July 1st, 2010

And off we go… The boy and I are headed off for the North. We’ve decided that getting away for the holiday sounds like a good plan.

We have a week of Maine planned. Including Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park.

And Lobster. Lots and lots and lots of Lobster.

:)

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Jennifer on June 29th, 2010

Analogy:

Analogy is a cognitive process of transferring information from a particular subject (the analogue or source) to another particular subject (the target), and a linguistic expression corresponding to such a process. ~http://en.wikipedia.org

I’m a queen of analogies. I use them about every other thought in my head it seems.
Most of the time, I don’t even realize what I’m doing.

“It’s like…” I’m pretty certain I can predict that those will be my dying last words. I wish I knew why I do it, or why that habit was formed, or for that matter, when it started. But I don’t . I just know that it’s my thing.

When I teach classes, my students seem to light up at them. They seem to actually understand. And being one who is known for over-analyzing each word I choose to use, it seems an easy way to communicate some of my must confusing thoughts.

And so I do it again in recent time. Just this morning actually. I have a friend, Maria, whom has come to realize that she and I are in very very similar life situations right now. And this is where the analogy of the day comes in.

“It’s like a baby’s lullaby mobile”

Maria came up with it. I’ve been using a cobweb, more because it seems as sticky and gross of a situation as any other right now, but I think she’s right. It’s more of a mobile.

You know the kind. Where toys hang on fine wires, whirling around with soft movements and soothing sounds?

My life is like a mobile. It’s delicate right now. It’s as though I’m doing everything I can to keep the mobile in a fine, quiet balance. But I know that it needs to move in order to soothe the soul.

But how is that done?

How do you ensure that the mobile will start smoothly, and soothe, rather than startle?
How do I know that changing situations will be a good thing, rather than worlds biggest mistake?

All in due time, I tell myself. All in due time. I’ve always been a firm believer in it.

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Jennifer on June 28th, 2010

If the world would only listen to the wise words of Winnie the Pooh and Shel Silverstein, wouldn’t it be a great place? Wouldn’t we all understand and appreciate true love at it’s core? To understand what it is to be a true friend? To give and receive unconditionally?

I just wanted to share some of my favorite words of wisdom from some very wise folks.

“This bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wonderous worlds Ive known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone.” ~ Shel Silverstein

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ~ Shel Silversein

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you.” ~ Winnie the Pooh

I wish everyone thought like this.

Love and Peace,

Niff

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